Today I found out what being speechless, really means. To experience something that sinks into your soul so deeply that you discover a depth to your being that you never even knew existed, forget being touched.
That is what I felt after watching Lootera. A film that creeps into your system shot by shot and by the end, captures you entirely. She is unbelievably simple yet expressive. Her beauty is one of uniqueness and a rarity, and you don’t even know why you find her so breathtaking. You fall for a character that you don’t even know yet. Her grace, her charm, the expression of slyness is all wrapped up perfectly in just her eyes.
I still don’t know what exactly has moved me so. But I feel like I lived her life, I felt her joy when she first laid eyes on him; I felt her childish excitement every time she saw him; I felt her anger, her desire, her love, and then her feeling of utter betrayal. Then I experienced her confusion and her love being reborn, rising from a dark grave of anger and hurt.
I feel like I’ve known her all my life and even then, she confuses me and bedazzles me at the same time.
He is the picture of the untypical angry young man. He’s bad but not by choice. He loves her, but not by choice. He rips her heart from her chest, but not out of his own accord. His entire life is dictated by him not having the power of choice. Yet, you don’t know whether to feel sorry for him when she unleashes her anger on to him or to hate him for being the cause of that hurt and anger.
Now, I feel its grip and the trance wearing off, as I type every letter, its fading. A part of me wants it to go away and give me back my heart and my head, but another part of me wants to hold on to this feeling of….being so overwhelmed.
Lootera stole something from me. What I have no idea honestly, but I feel as if a part of my soul has been taken from me. Not ripped from me, but given unwillingly. As if I had absolutely no choice in the matter.